#leverage 1x02

[leveragecentral]

Favorite Parker Outfits from Season 1 as requested by @246bce

[fallenangelontheceiling]

Leverage, 1x02 The Homecoming Job

Oh we’re starting with a hurt vet instead. Wow, vets in the reserves don’t get medical treatment? I’m going to learn about 5 different social injustices every episode, aren’t I?

“Can’t people just be here to help?” *doctor kicks him out*

Sophie’s bad acting gives me life. “Peggy killed her first husband” see THAT I believed. And she’s still the only one trying to go legit/non grift career…

Yeah, muscle guy is right. Stop telling each other what you did with your money. I'm annoyed by the lack of mistrust.

Parker’s black beret is hot

Hardison is down for Nate’s plan! He’s so excited it’s so cute.

They have pension plans and dental ❤️ how are they gonna fund this though?

Oh wow they’re down for it just because they can help the little guy. Maybe I should be less cynical.

Love Nate swiping the dip on this asshole’s jacket just to mess with him - oh no there was a read for that. Love how in synch they already are.

What’s Sophie gonna do if one day she can’t pull the Seductive card?

Okay, muscle guy beating up the Castleman guys in the hallway was hot. I’m starting to understand.

“A man only looks a woman in the eye when he’s lying to her.” No one disagrees with her. Maybe this show is a bit cynical. About certain people.

Comparing past jobs: “I actually hurt people, so…” lol

Sticking it to corrupt congressmen is the ultimate wish fulfillment.

Parker/Money is my Bad Romance for this show.

Love the whiteboard for exposition purposes. Sometimes I need a picture, ya know?

For someone who (allegedly) hasn't done full cons before Nate is pretty good at characters. He and Sophie must've worked together before, they're too good as a team.

They're all in gray at the end <3

"Is this stolen?" "Not anymore."

"One more..." Please tell me that becomes a running gag. (Also meta for binging shows. But I think this show came out before that phenomena?)

The Dad energy they're all starting to have with Nate is so lovely.

I'm smiling so much.

[tothethousandthline]

Alec Hardison: I mean, break a law, everybody’s done that, my mama’s done that, but steal a law. Oh, she’s gonna be a legend, baby!

[lehdenlaulu]

Ah, and here we have a nice reminder that this is an American show that ran during the Iraq War.

Ooh, we're taking on "Blackwater" now?

"Eliot and Women" is such a fun vibe.

"I know you people like that." Is he implying Eliot is Canadian? (I know he's not but this is early on in the show and things change sometimes.) Or is that "you white people"? Or is "you people" the same as "y'all" in AAVE? Help me here, Americans.

Were phones in 2008 really like that? I guess they were.

Introducing Eliot "Distinctive" Spencer, I see.

"A man only ever looks a woman in the eye when he's making an effort to lie to her." It'd be fun to see if that holds up in the future. Probably doesn't because this is television and characters looking each other earnestly in the eye is a big thing.

Hardison and Eliot are so cute.

This episode is kind of nauseatingly American, but then, what can you expect.

Ew, Nate, a Tesla?

Oh Parker.

[thewanderingace]

Eliot: (ง︡'-'︠)ง

Harry: (❤o❤)

Bonus Sophie: (ง ͠ ᵒ̌ Дᵒ̌)¤=[]:::::>

[eg515]

I don't know what's funnier, Sophie saying she knows the politician lied to her because he was looking into her eyes and not at her boobs, or Eliot and Hardison both saying after a few seconds silence that yeah, that actually checks out, can't argue with that

[greenconverses]

Richard saying, "we're going to end up in the same place, it doesn't matter how we get there" pissed me off so much ISN'T "HOW WE GET THERE" THE ENTIRE POINT OF STORIES?! ISN'T THAT WHY THE ENTIRE DAMN BOOK EXISTS?!

So, shocker, I have Thoughts about this post of his. My knee jerk reaction when I saw it last night was an eye roll and an urge to rant, which I kept contained because I'd already ranted and we gotta space that stuff out from time-to-time.

And now that I have had a full night's sleep and I am slightly less cranky, I'm gonna have to go on record and... DEFEND part of his logic, gasp.

For those not in the know, RR wrotes this reply to question on Threads (lol) a few days ago about changes to the plot in the sixth episode that apparently bugged a lot of people:

And like, I'm deeply annoyed about the "it won't change anything" bit because OH MY GOD STORYTELLING which is a whole other thing but I do have something to say about the man's logic and the difference in the show premise vs the books that I think is flying over a lot of people's heads.

The plot of the show is Percy saving Sally and doing a quest along the way. Sally and Percy's relationship is the A plot, the mythology and conflict among the gods is the B plot. Percy knows from 1x02 that his mom is alive and that changes his priorities immediately; we see him start to care about the overall quest and his place in the world in 1x05, but he's still pushing forward because of his mom. You have to add another pearl to pay off that A storyline, to promise audience members that Percy is going to succeed until he doesn't.

Percy in the books has a feeling his mom is alive or that he can get her back from the Underworld, but doesn't know for sure. The quest and the setting up the overall Big Three backstory is the main plot of the books and what we the readers are focused on. I wouldn't even put saving Sally as a B or C plot in the original TLT. Percy doesn't get confirmation that she's alive until they're down in the Underworld and Hades reveals he took her for leverage, so then only having three pearls becomes a brief but important conflict.

This is where we're seeing a lot of the issues with the show's plot come to a head. It's fine to change the priority of the story from returning the bolt to saving Sally, because it delivers the same result in the end anyway, like Rick says. But you have to bulk up other parts of the script in a way to make up for it and the show has not delivered on that part. (See exhibit A: my rant about any lack of mystery with the monsters.)

I think the most egregious change that he says doesn't matter is the trio missing the deadline. In the books, we're told that natural disasters and weird things have been happening since the bolt disappeared as Zeus and Poseidon fought, and stuff was getting worse the closer the deadline came. We are briefly shown this in 1x05 with Ares and in 1x06 with Luke saying things are "bad" at camp, but imo, it doesn't feel super heavy. The consequences of missing the deadline is that gods go to war and bad shit happens! Lots of mortals are gonna die! Doesn't that matter?

The show could've stepped outside of the Percy and Sally storyline for little bit to give more of a perspective about what was happening at camp or the outside world to bring that weight - you're not limited to just Percy's POV storyline in the medium of a TV show! (Of course, we can step outside of it to give a LMM cameo/stinger because priorities but I digress.)

They didn't and I'm not sure how they're going to "solve" Zeus's response to Percy missing the deadline 'cause like... this is the unreasonable king of the gods that Rick has started yet another series based on the premise of him being a petty bitch who wants to ruin Percy's life. Is the guy gonna walk back starting a war? Is he waiting to start because Poseidon asked nicely? What's the consequence to the world going to be? Clearly nothing, since Rick said the story is going to end how it was always going to end, which is just poor storytelling.

[independent-fics]

Inde watches “The Panamanian Monkey Job”

Leverage Redemption 1x02

Still not sure how I feel about Harry because he’s literally the type of guy they would take down but also I see that he’s very good at being a distraction and grifting in the lobby

Hardisons excitement over the information just being in the brochure I love him

“You know there was a day where I’d have to beat the location out of this place out of some Russian mafia guy”Eliot. You’re so dramatic. I love you

Parker walking Sophie through the let’s go steal phrase and then her excitement over $20 million and then Eliot’s little smile Ahhh I love them 

Do love that we get to see Sophie grieving still instead of just jumping right back in everything acting like it’s the same

Also, Breanna, what entrance I love it 

Do not like the implication that Breanna does not know Eliot though only Parker but loving the instant bonding between them making fun of Hardison 

 Well now I wanna know what happened in Paris with the robot and Eliot’s feelings 

Love Eliot continuing to mess with Harry

“Nothings impossible” “it’s impossible tickle yourself.” “That’s a good point” I love them. 

“We’re the drill team” oh my gosh, I love her excitement 

NOT THAT I’M THE MANAGER CHAIR SPIN BREANNA I love you 

Harry’s “I’m the one in the car with them” Is giving Eliot’s “ive been carrying these around in my pants” (the beantown bailout job)

The way Sophie looks so over it escorting the DJ from the plane

Hardison’s really bro and Elliot telling him to shut up and keep going when he gets hit. I love them. 

Elliot absolute hating the vents is amazing

Breanna, baby, you can never let anyone down 

Parker looking actually heartbroken when Eliot says he hates the vents 

I love Eliot’s “Don’t bring me into this.”They’re married your honor.

Love the parallels of Hardison walking them through that while Eliot’s fighting and Parker stealing like yes I’ve missed this trio

The “you didn’t stretch did you” and them kookily running from the guards I love it 

Eliot supporting Hardison leaving and Parker looking at him and then Eliot looking to Hardison like ahhh

Parker’s tears I can’t 

“But I'm not a parent.” “I know about a dozen crews around the world that would happily disagree.” STOP I CANT I LOVE THEM

Eliot’s head shake when he said FBI windbreakers he just thinks about all the ones hardest and made on the weekends 

[mischas]

What are your favourite Marissa comebacks/sassy moments? (She deserved to be wayyy snarkier than she was but I find her humor very underrated)

Ooh fun

1x02 in the car with Seth about liking punk music

1x02 calling out Seth for him being stuck up (cries, future besties)

1x04 getting Anna to be Ryan's cotillion date over Summer (she thought she was being so slick)

1x05 "So how'd it go with the dancer?"

1x05 "Can I have one of your tanktops so I can be as cool as you?"

1x07 vending machine "Actually, I think she was a woman" line of all time

1x10 outing Caleb/Julie on the yacht

1x11 the moment at Theresa's door when she nods at Ryan before going inside

1x12 "I didn't tell anyone"

1x14 "Like I said, yep. Happy New Year"

1x21 "Why? Because we go to the same school or because I live here?" (this is so cold but she's not only not wrong but also finally has some bite again)

1x23 threatening Julie that she'll spill the beans about Luke to Jimmy/Caleb/her therapist/the cops/etc we love a princess with leverage

1x25 inviting Aunt Cindy to the engagement party

2x07 "Of course I'm screwed up! I'm the daughter of a thief and a slut" (I find this scene very unserious but I... love this line)

2x12 "I did some real soul searching" "I hope you didn't hurt yourself"

2x14 "You have my cell if Caleb kicks and you need help counting your cash"

2x16 this whole Julie exchange "You enjoy living in squalor?" "Well you and Caleb don't live here so it can't be that disgusting" "Maybe I'll just steal, you know I'm really good at that"

2x17 "You remember what happened the last time you came to Chino?" "Yeah, I saved your ass"

2x24 "Paychecks are handed out on Mondays"

3x02 "You're getting good at this, aren't you?" this doesn't really fit the prompt but I love how amused she is saying this

3x10 "I love Chrismukkah" "So we've heard"

3x17 my memory is funny on this one but "I'm seeing Dr. Roberts" "You don't look like you've had anything done"

3x19 (i think) that scene with Summer comparing her to Veronica Mars "solving this week's mystery"

3x22 "If I was in your circle of friends I might accidentally let it slip that you used to do musicals"

3x25 "I'm really gonna miss you bossing me around"

I'm sure there are some more that I'm forgetting! And I'm sure they don't all fit but 🤷‍♀️ Also the Malex era probably has more but my memory isn't great there either unfortunately.

[purpleplaid17]

Jess Watches // Thu 28 Dec // Day 97 Synopses & Favourite Scenes & Poll

Orphan Black (rw with mum) 5x04 Let the Children and Childbearers Toil

Sarah and Siobhan follow a lead on a Neolution defector, hoping for enough leverage to free Kira from Dyad's clutches. Also, Cosima investigates rumors about a creature in the woods.

The Sarah/ Helena scene in the convent is one of my faves of them. The vulnerability, the gentleness, the hopefulness, the sestra bond. And that any time Tat talks about filming this scene she gets emotional when thanking Kathryn's generosity as a scene partner. Also, Mrs. S in glasses these past 2 eps has been very distracting. I am thinking thoughts.

Unprisoned (with mum) 1x02 How to Be a Main Bitch

Paige moves into her new house, but Edwin complicates her life at every turn, including her relationship. Meanwhile, Finn helps Edwin get a job.

[Daily mantra] I am a main bitch. I AM a main bitch. I am a MAIN bitch. I am a main BITCH.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians 1x02 I Become Supreme Lord of the Bathroom

Percy finds his place at Camp Half Blood, where he learns just how special his origins may be.

Percy is the funniest little guy. He is just being hit from every angle with all this wild new information and is handling like a champ. I trusted Annabeth immediately but not her brother. His friendship just didn't seem as genuine and came across as more calculated. I don't trust the adults either tbf so everyone is sus atm. Also, I feel like I definitely should read up on Greek gods to understand the intricacies of the story better.

The Dragon Prince 5x07 Sea Legs

The Ruthless sails into dangerous waters, with Finnegrin in hot pursuit. Queen Janai and her guards face a deadly infiltrator seeking the Sun Seed.

The little baitlings getting their new names was so cute. The animation of it was over-the-top in a way that was befitting their character; Queen Janai getting momentarily distracted by an injured guard being the only time she was truly overpowered in the fight seemed an easy way storywise to prolong the drama, which I'm all here for. Especially if it means she and Amaya (who is back!) will take Karim down once and for all.

BBC Ghosts 5x07 A Christmas Gift

Mike’s mum visits, but her attempts to lend a hand drive Alison and Mike mad. To make matters worse, Betty soon senses something is awry with Button House, but does she know what?

I don't think I liked this new ending tbh, when 5x06 was a perfectly lovely way to end the series. I think the time jump of having the baby, then another at the end, made things feel a bit rushed. I didn't mind so much that Alison and Mike left. Life always moves on. I just didn't feel their joy or sadness or any emotions really. Maybe an extended episode would've solved a lot of these issues idk.

[thesearchforbluejello]

Not for nothing but Janet and Sam raising Cassie was basically a completely wasted opportunity. I realize we got Rite of Passage, which frankly I hated then and still hate now because it leans way too much on the "bitchy teenager" trope instead of building any actual character for Cassie, and we know Cassie is why Sam left the SGC before s9, and obviously the show never really did slice of life stuff except with Pete which automatically revoked their right to ever do any slice of life stuff again but I still feel like it could have been a much more interesting thing to explore.

None of SG-1 has anything to lose, really: Daniel has no family besides Nick, who's estranged and then gone; Jack has no one; Teal'c has his family and Bra'tac but he's already committed to potentially never seeing them again. Sam has Jacob, but he's off doing his own thing. How would the show have changed if Sam's relationship with Cassie was cast as something to lose?

We know that SG-1 is quite involved with raising Cassie: Jack GIVES HER A DOG for crying out loud. And of course Cassie's middle school teacher knows Jack by name (cf. Learning Curve), and Sam in particular is very involved, obviously, visiting when she can (cf. In The Line of Duty, although I don't know when exactly this was supposed to air; the shot of Sam in the gate room from 1x02 and beyond is from that episode, which aired as 2x02, which presumably is why they were able to get Katie Stuart for that episode but not again in s5, but I digress. My point is that we can't assume when that was actually supposed to be because it's out of order so presumably it could have meant Sam was involved short term EXCEPT) and planning fun weekend activities (cf. Urgo). Sam buys Cassie's cake in Rite of Passage and we know they regularly play chess, and we know that Sam specifically left the SGC for Cassie between the original finale and S9 (which was actually an excuse for AT's maternity leave, but).

Every time I rewatch, though, I find myself so profoundly frustrated with the fact that Cassie is never there when it's important. Like, sure, maybe they couldn't get either of the actresses. But there's this fun thing in television called dialogue, and they should have taken notes from Leverage: Redemption on talking about an absent character (look I know one predates the other by more than twenty years, but you get it).

One of the things that this show was so good at was the plots with kids, but most of the kids end up going home or going elsewhere (Merrin and Charlie, respectively, for instance but also I am once again asking what the hell happened to Loran?) and Cassie stays. They let Cassie back on base during In the Line of Duty, so where is she in Entity, or even Death Knell, Grace, or Line in the Sand? Where is she in Meridian? Did she ever meet Jonas? Or Cam or Vala? What was her opinion of Pete? Where did she go after Heroes? (She may have been old enough to be in college, maybe, but still.)

I realize there are always unanswered questions (like what happened to Satterfield? Did Haley end up working on an SG team? Did Grogan get reassigned?) but I just have so many specifically about Cassie, and by extension her relationship with Sam, and by another extension Sam and Janet's friendship.

Anyway, this is more of a ramble than a coherent set of thoughts but basically: I realize that slice of life stuff wasn't this show's schtick, and I think that suits it perfectly well, but I have so many unanswered questions about Cassie's post-Singuarity life that I do actually think should have been addressed more frequently in one-off dialogue.

[zalrb]

If you decide to give Leverage a chance, the season 1 watch order is out of whack. You can watch it any way you like, but the character/relationship development is more seamless if you watch it as originally intended. The intended watch order is 1x01, 1x02, 1x07, 1x09, 1x08, 1x04, 1x03, 1x05, 1x06, 1x11, 1x10, 1x12, 1x13. It's ridiculous but it aired on TNT so... :)

i... ok thank you! lmao

[fallenangelontheceiling]

I'm about to start Leverage 1x02, so watch this space. I look forward to Nate angsting about his dead son. I am hoping for a bit less plot machinations and more of these characters not being able to stand each other.

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Homecoming Job

leverage 1.02

Dr. LeRoque: Pardon me, Mr. uh?

Nate: Oh, uh, Nathan Ford. You’re Dr. LeRoque?

Dr. LeRoque: Can I talk to you outside?

Perry: Doc, he’s cool, I found him on the internet.

Dr. LeRoque: Yes, that never goes badly. (to Nate) With me.

Nate: Uh… I’ll be in touch.

(Perry hands him the flash drive and Nate follows the doctor out of the room)

okay but big mood “I found him on the Internet” “that never goes badly”

but also,,, bruh we NEED to know how their clients found them,,, like ??? H O W

- - - - -

Dr. LeRoque: You can’t just come in here and get his hopes up!

Nate: I’m just here to provide options.

Dr. LeRoque: There are no options.

Nate: The Veteran’s hospital …

Dr. LeRoque: Is 400 miles away and has a five month waiting list. Everybody in that rehab room is a reservist. When reservists get out they get sent home no matter where home is or how far it is from the treatment they need. Nobody thought this through. We’re not a rich hospital, I cashed in every favor I had to take care of these kids for as long as I could but I have to go back in there and tell Perry we can’t treat him anymore. I have to do that. Run your scam on somebody with money.

Nate: It’s not a scam. I’m here to help.

Dr. LeRoque: People don’t just show up to help. That’s not the way the world works.

leverage really called out the us government’s negligence and neglect for veterans in episode TWO and we stan them so hard for it

leverage said “go big or go home” from the VERY beginning

- - - - -

[Audition Room]

Sophie: Why? Why? I can’t live like this anymore. With the lies and the filth. No. Help me. I want to be clean. I want to be clean.

(two directors watching are overwhelmed by just how awful Sophie is)

Rogers: Yeah, you understand this is a soap commercial, right?

Sophie: Uh huh. When I thought about Peggy I came up with this idea that the dirt was really this giant metaphor, for sin.

(Sophie’s cell rings, she glances at her purse)

Rogers: You should take that. No, no you should take that.

Sophie: Oh. (answers phone) Hello? When? (hangs up) Peggy killed her first husband.

Rogers: Thank you

I literally scream every time I LOVE SOPHIE S O MUCH WHAT THE FUCK

- - - - -

[Parking Lot]

(one man is laying on the hood of a car and another falls on top of him. Eliot turns away from the car as the last man pulls a gun on him. They stare at each other for a moment, then a phone rings)

Eliot: That you or me?

(man seems unsure as the phone continues to ring)

Eliot: Could be important. Does your mama have your number?

(man looks down and Eliot grabs the gun, punching the man in the neck. The man goes down, choking. Eliot unloads the gun and tosses it away before pulling out his phone and answering it)

Eliot: Yeah? Nothing, why?

“nothing”? I’m-

- - - - -

(guard walks by a painting hanging in a museum gallery. He looks away for a moment, and when he looks back a rope is dangling where the painting had been. A cell phone rings)

Parker: Parker. Shh. No, I wasn’t shushing you.

I love her, your honor

- - - - -

(Parker, Eliot and Sophie come around the corner and head down the hall)

Parker: From the first job?

Eliot: Yeah.

Parker: I put all that money in a Swiss bank account.

Eliot: Millions of dollars and you didn’t buy anything?

Parker: I don’t like stuff, I like money.

Sophie: I bought a little retirement home, an island.

Eliot: Nice.

Sophie: In Dubai. And Tokyo.

Parker: What about you?

(they reach the door which has a small envelope with Sophie’s name written on it. Sophie takes it off the door and opens it)

Eliot: Yeah, I’m not about to tell two known thieves what I did with a multi-million dollar payout.

Sophie: Don’t you trust us?

(Eliot doesn’t answer.)

- - - - -

Hardison: This is our new cover story. Welcome to Leverage Consulting and Associates, founded in 1913 by the great Harland Leverage the Third.

(Hardison points to a painting on the wall of an older man that greatly resembles Nate)

Sophie: I’m sorry. Nate is going to kill you.

Eliot: Did you paint that?

Hardison: I’m gifted.

Eliot: That’s weird

HARLAND LEVERAGE THE THIRD

- - - - -

Hardison: Now Leverage Consulting Inc. is squeaky clean, all corporate taxes on record as being paid for the last ninety years. (He gives them each a cell and a folder) All your identities as partners, your payroll taxes are paid, you guys have pension plans and dental, those are employment records, case files and company newsletters.

(the group walks the halls of the Leverage offices as they discuss the files)

Parker: In 1998 I won the sack race at the 4th of July picnic. Cool.

Hardison: Now these, these are your offices. Now you can bring something like a photo, you know what, a plant! I’m a big supporter of dandelions.

hardison goes hardcore when coming up with backstories

- - - - -

(Hardison opens doors to a conference room that holds a long table with many chairs around it. One wall is dedicated to large TV screens)

Sophie: Nice.

Eliot: My man.

Hardison: Long version or the short version?

Sophie: Short.

Eliot: Short version.

Parker: Shortest.

(Hardison hits a remote the TV screens illustrate his explanation)

Hardison: Photo and video forensics programs, back doors into every electronic banking system in the world, running heuristic data crawls all over the news sites to find our clients, oh also!

Parker: This is the short version?

Hardison: Facial recognition database tied into CIA, NSA and the FBI. But, the real pièce de résistance (changes screens to sports games) DirectTV HD Total Sports Package. NFL, NBA and I threw in a little bit of hockey ‘cause I know you people like that.

Eliot: Hockey.

hardison nests SO HARD

like, bring in all the highest tech into your cozy new office you designed for you and your fellow adopted criminals? heck yeah

- - - - -

Nate: Our client is the cameraman. Corporal Robert Perry. He says that the Castleman contractors spooked and started firing.

Eliot: 5.56 NATO rounds mixed in with some 9 mils from the sub-machine guns. Insurgents would have used AK-47s with 7.62 ammo. It has more of a... (hits the back of his hand to his palm) crack. Contractors shot 'em up all right.

Parker: You ID’d the weapon from the gunshot sound?

Eliot: It has a very distinctive sound

D I S T I N C T I V E

- - - - -

Nate: Yes, and lobbyists in every office in Washington, DC. The problem with a cover-up is all the paperwork it takes to keep the lies straight.

Hardison: Internal emails, memos.

Nate: Exactly.

- - - - -

[Roof]

[Hardison and Parker are wearing black and connected to repelling gear)

Hardison: I gotta go back to the office I just remembered something.

Parker (adjusting Hardison’s harness): What?

Hardison: I just remembered gravity and the squishiness of all my manly bits.

Parker: I designed this rig myself. The line is carbon fiber. Five point harness. Weight support here, here, and here. Auto-breaking resistance on the main pulley back here.

Hardison: Okay cool, so it’s tested?

Parker: Not yet.

Hardison: Not yet? When the hell was you gonna test it?

(Parker pushes Hardison off the roof. She smiles, he screams)

Parker: Big baby.

(she jumps after him. Hardison screams until he stops upside down. Parker lowers herself to his side)

Hardison: Seriously? Seriously

hardison’s first time rappelling decidedly Did Not Go Well

- - - - -

Sophie: My company’s focused on meeting senators, but I’m thinking congressmen.

DuFort: You know the great thing about congressmen? Fifty, a hundred grand well spent will get one elected, but then once they’re in the incumbency rate is over 95 percent so you can get an average 18, 20 years’ use out of one of them. In these uncertain times buying a United States congressman is one of the best investments a corporation can make.

[DuFort’s Office]

Hardison: Oh I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I’m a professional criminal and I find that disturbing

they’re going at america’s THROAT in this one and I love it. thank you john rogers

- - - - -

(while DuFort is distracted Sophie pulls out his wallet and removes the RFID card with her teeth. DuFort takes off his coat to look at the stain)

I am but a simple gay and this was Hot™

- - - - -

the phones hardison gave the team have six main buttons: internet, text, files, to-do, id scan, and mail

- - - - -

Nate: Parker, what’s the status of the voicelock?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Uh, I’ve been sampling DuFort’s speech but I still need a few more sounds.

[Private Party]

Nate: How many?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Well I only need the sounds puh, tuh, oo, ah, eh, oh, ah, ke, a, ef.

[Private Party]

Nate: Ah, only those. Eliot.

(Eliot walks by carrying two trays of appetizers)

Eliot: I’m on it. Pardon. (approaches Sophie and DuFort) Hello.

Sophie: Ooh. Mmm.

Eliot: (to DuFort) Appetizer, sir?

DuFort: Sure, what do you got?

Eliot: I’ve got the pâté d’escargot avec bière d'Argentine and (looks at second tray and grimaces) what looks like old duck, kind of greasy.

DuFort: I guess I’ll have the first one.

Eliot: Of course.

(Eliot offers him the second tray and Dufort looks at him expectantly)

DuFort: Well? May I have some?

Eliot: The greasy duck?

Sophie: Oh, no, no, no, I wouldn’t have the greasy duck.

Eliot: No I wouldn’t suggest it.

DuFort: No, the other one.

(Eliot pretends confusion)

DuFort: The the pâté d’escargot with the bière d'Argentine!

Eliot: Excellent choice sir (gives DuFort the first tray).

DuFort: (takes food) Who is this clown?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Pretty good. Got most of them. Okay, now all I need is ef, uh and kuh.

[Private Party]

(DuFort spits out the appetizer he has taken)

DuFort: This is shrimp!

Eliot: Very good then. (walks away)

DuFort: It’s shrimp you stupid F----!

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Oh, there they are. Really loud too

parker being so competent and knowledgeable about voice activation codes? amazing. iconic.

and the whole scene with eliot and the food? hilarious.

also there already another meta post about this but this scene shows just how SMART eliot is,,, like coming up with that on spot??? don’t get me wrong, hardison is “the smartest man [any of them know]” but damn

- - - - -

continuing list of non-weapon objects eliot uses as weapons:

an IV stand

+ bonus

nate: the defibrillator/AED

- - - - -

Perry: Mr. Ford!

(Perry pushes a defibrillator towards Nate, who grabs the paddles. The first man runs toward Eliot with a knife, but Eliot grabs his arm and pushes him toward Nate)

Nate: Hello.

(Nate hits the man in the chest with the defibrillator paddles and he flies backward, unconscious)

eliot looking Impressed™ at nate for that

- - - - -

Eliot: Play time’s over Nate, it’s only a matter of time before they come after us. The tall one, the way he used a knife, ex-Marine, probably Force Recon.

Hardison: You ID’d a guy off his knife-fighting style?

Eliot: It’s a very distinctive style.

two distinctives in one episode

- - - - -

Hardison: I didn’t sign up for any of this. What I did before, nobody got hurt.

Sophie: I stole paintings for a living.

Parker: I never hurt anybody.

Eliot: I actually hurt people, so…

LMFAO eliot but also- notice that sophie never said that she never hurt people, she just said she stole paintings for a living

- - - - -

Sophie: Nate, if anything had happened to this kid--

Nate: You know you guys called on me. You remember? You begged me to run the crew, agreed to play by my rules. Now walk out if you have a problem with that. Walk out any day if you have a problem with that. It’s simple.

(everyone looks hesitant)

Eliot: We finish this one.

Parker: Just one

PSH like any of y’all believe that

- - - - -

Hardison: How do we hit ‘em?

Sophie: Congressman Jenkins, he’s our in. Looked me straight in the eye and told me he’d never even heard of the shooting.

Parker: So?

Sophie: Looked me in the eye? When men are telling me the truth they’re not looking me in the eye. A man only ever looks a woman in the eye when he’s making the effort to lie to her.

Eliot: ...Well you can’t argue with that.

Hardison: Noted and filed

LMFAO

- - - - -

Nate: All right, Jenkins is DuFort’s pet congressman, let’s see if we can get him to bite. The best way to get two people to reveal a secret, get ‘em to turn on each other.

- - - - -

Sophie: You should look out for the signs congressman. Missed phone calls, no more little favors.

Jenkins: Those are the same signs that your wife is cheating on you.

Sophie: That’s right.

Jenkins: What am I supposed to do when that happens?

Sophie (hands him her card): Play the field

- - - - -

Hardison: Congressman Jenkins is very careful. No direct bribes but he’s renovating his house and so far he’s received over $600,000 worth of work for a little over fifty grand.

(Hardison brings up pictures of Jenkins’ house on the screens)

Eliot: Castleman owns the contracting company, huh?

Hardison: I mean, he’s going through like three shell companies but yeah. And this man loves his house. Just check out his web browsing habits.

(Hardison changes the image to a website for wood panels)

Hardison: Look here, see the man spent three weeks picking out the perfect mahogany wood panels. This site is like wood porn.

Eliot: Is his house finished?

Hardison: Not even close.

Eliot: Can I borrow your phone?

Hardison takes out his phone, dials for Eliot and hands it to him.

Eliot (on phone): Hello? Yes, I’d like to cancel delivery on some mahogany wood paneling. Please.

(Hardison tries to help, Eliot walks away)

Eliot: The Jenkins house. Yeah, you know what, do me a favor man, just go ahead and cancel the whole order. Yes sir.

(Eliot leaves the room as Nate enters with a bowl of popcorn and two beers)

Nate: What’s he doing?

Hardison: Yanking the congressman’s chain

I love chaotic (pre)boyfriends

plus at one point it high hey looked like they were holding hands

and eliot’s SMILE at hardison ,,, you soft man, you never stood a chance

- - - - -

Hardison: A woo--whoa, whoa! A wood-- a wooden box?

Nate: A wooden box.

Hardison: Wood? Well, we can put a man on the moon but all our laws go into a wooden box.

- - - - -

Hardison: I mean, break a law, everybody’s done that, my mama’s done that but steal a law. Oh, she’s gonna be a legend baby.

(on screen, C-SPAN news shows the Senate floor where Parker is walking to “The Hopper”. She waves at the camera and puts the fake bill into box.

Parker: The eagle has landed.

Nate: It’s in!

Hardison: Uhn! Go ahead girl! Sexyness! Unh. Rrrnnn.

Nate: Might want to ease up on that a little bit.

Hardison: Just saying.

Nate: Yeah.

Hardison: Between me and you. Between me and you.

Nate: Never leaves the room.

adorable “the eagle has landed” parker + already-gone-for-her hardison ,,, I love it here

- - - - -

(also, again I am reminded that there is a 250 text block limit so imma have to make a part two and apparently this is my life now)

[cloysterbell]

You ID’d the weapon from the gunshot sound?